Blogs about my father

This will be the title of my new blog...I've been trying to figure out how to become more specialized in this blog-writing business, and I suppose, perhaps I had been nosing around too far out of my comfort zone to notice that my topic of focus is right here. Dear ol' dad.

Episode 428:
So today, after breakfast, Dad announced that he was going to get his hair cut. Cool. I am tinkering on my compy and mom is clearing the breakfast table, when Dad pops his head back in to the kitchen and asks, "Joanna, would you like to take a ride with me?" Pajama-clad and less a shower, I decline: "No, thank you."
"Aw, come on. it will be 10 minutes."
" You want me to come with you to get your hair cut?"
" Yeah! It will take 10 minutes. You drive me, you stay in the car and watch DMB (I don't know what this is, but I assume it's the tv that is in his ritzy car) and then 10 minutes! I come out and we go home."
So basically you want me to be your chauffeur, which you already have one of...
"Why don't you just walk?"
In the mean time, Dad, hurt and dejected, turns back to his room to prepare for his lone departure. Mom looks at me and in Korean, responds, "There's no one like me."
I'm a little astonished- "Wait, you drive him to the barber all the time!?"
She's the enabler...
"Dad, are you seriously asking someone to drive you to the barber's?"
Looking at me and mom, he grumbles in Korean, "Nee neh mah-eum eul arrahsssuh/ I see how it is, how you really feel."
!?
ah, the joys of being home...

I have to say though, I'm a little excited to see Patrick and Mia, because there is bound to be another episode to tell of since we last saw them in March of 2009... I have a post about Dad from back then...

Care to dance?

So this is why I love New York: Ballsy people.

So S and I were walking home after dinner and a trip to Ricky's on a hunt for Gwen Stefani-red lipstick and possibly some wigs, and as we crossed the street, there were two guys heading toward us. I quickly skirted to the right to avoid them, but S got a little caught, and stutter-stepped with this guy, who, when he realized she was a looker (which she is), said to her, 'Would you like to dance with me?' She laughed, and replied 'No thank you'..and then as I turned to see his reaction, he stopped in the middle of the crosswalk, and said, "I mean, I took ballet!" It was cute. And charming, and not at all creepy--snaps for having the courage to have a little harmless fun on a Sunday evening.
Ah...New York, Je t'aime.

I go walking in my sleep...in the middle of the night

thoughts to ponder:
why you ever begin to question the circumstances of your life, especially when you know that you have contributed in some way to be in the place, in that time. and then why you feel the need to question whether you are deserving of such circumstances...and what that might say about you....

i wonder as I wander...so many papers to grade, but it's a long night tonight, and I'll be lucky if I get through half of its, since there are about 4 letters that I would rather be writing, and people I would rather be emailing. and rooms that I would rather be cleaning.

why my apt is cold--to the point where I can't feel my fingers (although that doesn't take much)...it's when my nose gets cold...that's when I know, it's cold in herrrr....

the sacredness of life, the value and impact of knowledge on one's life; watched this film called, "Everybody's Fine" this weekend. cried my eyes out, possibly because on one level, there is a real overlap between the character situation that Robert DeNiro plays and his actual self; and because that part of my life seems to be happening now--where I worry about my parents, about the state of their health and well-being...it left me conflicted about whether to tell them to watch the movie--because of what they might get from it--(coming from me) hopefully it would be all the good things, and all that I want to not do, or all that I want to change. but here I am...still conflicted..

and then I flipped on the tv to two movies: The proposal, and Because I said so. Both are movies that I love...for two reasons: Ryan Reynolds and Gabriel Macht. I won't go on in detail, but both are actors who convincingly play their roles and perhaps, possess to a certain extent, characteristics that I hope for in a man.

anywho. lost in the middle of a silent and unconscious night; where productivity and awareness are held both in questionable existence and significance....

KEEP SNOWING!!!!

I know it won't--I'm sure the few inches and more that will accumulate today will be gone tomorrow--but I still believe that we can fix the state of our world, our environment. But for now, the snow today is big, chunky, a little wet, but it's almost feeling close to a whiteout situation...where visibility is readily decreasing....

It's already feeling like a long night. I have to say that today was a true mess of slurred moments; it's perhaps that time of year once more, when I feel that I can't seem to catch up with myself, with the rest of the world.

Piles of work lay in front of me.

Try sleeping with a broken heart.

Today is Valentine's day. The movie, which I ended up watching on Friday, wasn't all that great, because it really did remind me of Love Actually, but at the same time, I couldn't help but let the tears fall in the end with Julia Roberts...I suppose we all long for love in the way that, even when we fail to feel it the most, we know or hope to be loved so much more than we ever believed could be possible.

And now today, I attended a long anticipated wedding of a good friend and her fiance. Got to see Chase Utley (and got to know who the guy is--sorry--I wish I could be a more devoted and knowledgeable baseball fan), but in the end, couldn't help but feel so torn between two of the most opposite emotions ever: Utter love and complete loneliness.

Perhaps the most painful thing about the wedding was that I went alone--and knew three people, more comfortably than other 201 guests who were in attendance. I'm sure there were tons of other people, single, but when you get to be this age---whatever THAT's supposed to mean, it's hard to reach out, to really get to know people--and I definitely felt like I was not a part of any group or table, even at all.

I've also ended up listening to Alicia Keys about 6 times on the radio today, to the point where I spent the drive home from the wedding searching for radio stations so that I could hear the song once more, and a couple of times on the way back, I teared up, for fear of the future; that I might wind up alone, without 'you'--whoever that is supposed to be.

And the saddest part of it all is, at the moment when I could have used a phone call, a person to talk to--everyone was off somewhere doing something else. wow. So I guess this is how it all spirals. downward of course, and I refuse to complain about the state of my life, but I can't help wondering what else it will take to just go on a date, to find the potential in someone--to feel nervous again, in that good way.

With all the work I have to get through tonight, it could be painful, but it's also comforting to know that this day is almost over....and yet...it still goes...so I blog into cyberspace...